i've dealt with bigger blows than this - so my ego's a little bruised and my grades are suffering - i'll survive.
i can't decide what's worse though - trying and failing or not trying, thus failing. i think i'd have to say the latter... it's less work.
approximately 1 week till i turn 19. you know what would be really nice? an hour with a psychotherapist - i need one.
my state of mind alternate between yoda-like zen and absolute mess. i can be completely calm one minute and freaking out the next. it's a bit discocerting. anyhow, i'm nada surf-ing. lol. nada surfing, i like that.
can't get blankest year out of my head. i don't really mind really - it keeps me sane. it reminds me life's a party, and that's always good to know, especially now. there are a million and one things due next week, i'm involved in a fair bit. i could cry, but i won't. crying will take up time - time that i do not have. if i did, i'd rather be on hp or lie down for a bit anyway...
nada surf's pretty good really, i wonder why i don't listen to them more often...
i cry when i see american idol contestants get their golden tickets. it's silly, but i can't help feeling for them - knowing you're one step closer to living your dream must be a good feeling...
i gained back 2 of the 3 kilos i've lost=( anyhow! i'm pissed off - i was anyway... some people need to back off.
bah...
i'm am going cold turkey - no hp until i'm done with my tv prod flash - which is like now, at 12.01am (i started blogging at 8pm but never finished). well, at least i kept my word. it's done so that's always good. maybe i should have saved the florals. oh shucks.
i want to smell like oranges and peaches. cheap advertisements do actually appeal to my senses - and i thought i was superficial. just when you think you know someone, they surprise you... or not - i'm a sucker for scents. i know exactly what i want to smell like, and right now, i want to smell like oranges and peaches.
it's late. i should catch up on my snooze - you know i haven't been getting enough lately...
i'm living in a zen-like bubble where everything's going fine.
either i'm just hormonal, or i've completely lost it. i'm banking on the former.
stop crying crybaby=(
i declare the next 18 hours me time. it's not enough, but it'll have to do.
a video for every occasion - no wonder i love travis so much.
the truth is, i like advertising. i must have crazy to have thought otherwise.
- 2008 is my last year as a teenager. i'm getting old=X
- good things may happen in 2008, just like they may in 2009. although i do have a better feeling about 2009, i should not rule out the possibility of good things happening in 2008.
well... i'm a lot more calm than i was 10 minutes ago. thanks to nat - talking to him sort of put things in perspective a little. at least i no longer feel like cutting myself... can't say i'm completely convinced though, but he's right, i need to chill. getting myself all worked up is no good for the blood pressure=/
i can honestly say i've never wanted anything more badly.
i don't care what happens in 2008 - i just want 2009 to come around.
it makes me smile everytime i think about it, yet i'm crying inside because it's more than a year away. it's killing me. this waiting. i swear, if it's not for the music playing in the background, i'd be in tears by now.
you are probably going to hear a lot more about it on my blog, because lately, it's all i could think about.
now my head aches... urgg... someone save me from myself.
highlights of the day
advertising: 3 prints that i'm relatively pleased with - not approved, but hey, they're pretty clever;) i've been winking a lot thanks to HP... it's so flirty, but whatever.
riddle: lol. anyone who has seen riddle would agree that this is a highlight.
me losing weight: i'm finally below 50 again! it's been the longest time... it really has. the past 3 days have been completely miserable - but it's all worth it now!
yea, that's about it. i'm still sick in case you're wondering;)
